My childhood – på svenska
I was born in a non christian family in the middle of Sweden. We grew up in a small village in the countryside. The only connection we had with Christianity was to visit the State Protestant Church for special occasions; baby baptism, Sunday school, youth confirmation, weddings, funerals and for Christmas celebration.
We had hymn books and Bibles at home but we never sang hymns or read them, or talked about Jesus at home.
Sometimes my father would pray the Lord’s Prayer with my sister and me at bed time. At Sunday school I got a children’s Bible written by Anne de Vries.
Still I remember the stories and the pictures in this wonderful book. I’m very thankful today that these stories were planted in my early childhood.
During my first six years in school, we sometimes sang hymns. And believe it or not, there was an organ in the classroom which our teacher played on and made us all sing. We also had Christianity as a subject. We read about the stories and we made drawings of them.
I found out in later years I always carried a respect for the Bible. I have never been angry at God or have accused Him. Listening to preaching never offended me.
Sadly today, Jesus and the Bible have more and more been taken out from the classrooms. Sweden has become more atheistic. The chance to meet a practicing Christian on the street is very rare.
My father was my first love, I knew I loved him. But shortly after I had started school, he left our home. He suddenly disappeared. A week later they found him dead in our car that was parked in the forest. At the same place he met my mother for the first time, at an outdoor dance venue. He had committed suicide. As you might understand that changed my life forever. A father should be there to encourage you, teach you, give you an identity and shape your character. He is also the backbone in a family. Suddenly I lost all that.
I know for sure my aunt and my grandmother were believers who read the Bible and prayed. My cousin told me she use to read from the Bible for my grandma, when she was too old to read for herself.
Some of my ancestors helped to build a church in 1883, Håle Täng’s kyrka.
To summarize; there were Christian beliefs in earlier generations in my family. I was exposed to Christianity but Jesus had never taken a root in me. I lived a life like most other unbelieving people, living my life my way (I.e. in sin, missing the Mark, overstepping the Law).
My 1st awakening
In 2010 I had an awakening. The realization was that some things are not what they seem to be in this world. Massmedia is having their own agenda and they either misinform us or are not telling the truth. Politicans “turn their coat after the wind”. I realized we had been deceived and lied to. Brainwashed into what to think, what to believe, what to feel, what to know. So I started a search, mostly on Internet, for the truth and tried to find out what the lies were, and why. Cui bono? Who benefits? It was like laying a puzzle, and every puzzle piece had to fit, or else the picture was a misrepresentation.
Little did I know this would lead me to the Saviour; Jesus Christ.
“- What is truth?” asked Pilatus, when he stood in front of Jesus, not realizing Jesus is the Truth and the Light of this world.
Many truth tellers are Christians. They have a deep desire, that leads to a quest to understand the times we are living in. I started to read their blogs and I took my time to think and meditate over circumstances, situations, life in general and questioning how the world history has been told to us. My conclusion was that the world powers are satanic and evil. They have a hidden agenda and their ways are destructive to mankind. They are anti God, anti Bible and anti Jesus.
We are all collectively together in the same boat, living on this earth, depending on the same systems to function. The majority of us, have sold ourselves (unknowingly) into this Babylonian/Egyptian system, which benefits us in one way or another.
I went through something called cognitive dissonance which is a mental stress disorder (gives you great discomfort) when you are confronted with two so called truths that contradict each other. One of these two “truths” had to go, because obviosly one is a lie.
My previous beliefs, my world views, my ideas and my values – contradicted the new ones I started to have, due to this research of “truths”. I could no longer hold on to my old attitudes, the way I was thinking, my plans for the future e t c.
A human psyche can’t simultaneously hold two or more contradictory beliefs. That’s why many stick their heads in the sand, flee or defend the lie, even if they know they are probably wrong or lied to – because the truth is almost impossible to bear.
Its like when someone tells you that your loved one is cheating on you. At first you probably can’t believe it. But then a mental process starts, a mind battle. You try to put all the pieces together to find out what is the truth? How can it be? How can I build my understanding of reality that is u n s e e n and how can I trust someones w o r d s?
If and when you realize you have been lied and cheated upon, most of us get so sick to the stomach that we almost want to throw up. That’s often a troublesome process. Many of us can’t stand the consequences of this revolutionary new information and how it would affect us. So we prefer to continue to live in a bubble, in a fake life and in a world of lies and in denial. It is sad that very few do serious research to uncover the truth, after a family member or friend has warned them. They are either too busy with their lives, or ignorant to injustices or lies. They love what this world can offer them. They believe mankind can sort the problems out. They are in the darkness and therefore are blind, ending up in one ditch after another.
Most people don’t realize that the kings on this earth are controlling people and nations by deception. (According to my conclusion and to the book of Revelation 18:23-24)
Someone said its easier to trick/fool/lie to someone, and much harder to explain to that person, that he has been fooled to believe in a lie. That’s how magic works. Sorcery. Witchcraft. To control another person with fears & intimidation, domination, lies & manipulations.
My 2nd awakening
Most importantly in my awakening process, was that I invited Jesus into my life in early 2012. I call that my 2nd awakening, after my first awakening when I realized there is an evil agenda for mankind, orchestrated by the secret societies.
I questioned the huge influx in immigration of non Europeans into Sweden, and the consequences thereof. What becomes of a homogeneous nation, with Christian values, when hundreds of thousands of Muslims become citizens? How come the massmedia is so onesided in their reports? Instead of being objective and critical, do they follow an agenda? When I looked into Islam and compared the totally different characters of Jesus and Muhammed, then for the first time I started to really admire Jesus. How He did things, the amazing things He said etc.
I found myself appreciating more that I was not born in a Islamic country, but in a nation with Christian values for centuries (also instead of being proud of being “Swedish”). We have so many reasons to be thankful for being born in a christian nation. Now christian beliefs and values are sadly declining but that great falling away is predicted to happen in the End Times, just before Jesus returns to judge the world.
Without knowing any christian believers, or having stepped into a church, I confessed Jesus as my Lord & Savior in January 2012. I felt that was the right thing to do. Through a radical christian website in the US, and after having sent some questions by email, I did a Skype video call with the pastor from the ministry of this website. I was told to say the Salvation prayer after him. After this short prayer, the pastor told me: “- Now you are saved!”. My first thought was “but shouldn’t I be joyful, or at least feel a difference”? That was my instant thought. To me salvation (frälsning in Swedish) was synonymous with happiness, joyful smiling christians. But I didn’t feel happier or different.
Some time after “my salvation” I happen to find Bror Espegren’s blog called Frikyrka.se – and I realized (thank you Jesus!) I had to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I needed the baptism of the Spirit. To receive a Light instead of darkness inside. An inner change had to take place but that was a mystery to me at this time. I read what this street evangelist Espegren emphasized on his website, but I didn’t know how that could happen.
My born again experience
About four months after my Salvation prayer, when I had invited Jesus into my life, something wonderful happened. This was in the late May 2012. I woke up in my bed in the morning, and immediately I got what I call an inner knowing. A gut feeling . I just knew, if and when I open my mouth, something would happen. Didn’t know where this thought came from.
You have to remember, at this particular time of my life, I was not in the habit of praying, neither morning- or evening prayers. And I didn’t know any other Christians at this point, and I never stepped in to a church for sermons. Never heard or seen anyone receive God’s Spirit and praying in tongues.
Anyway, back to this very special morning in 2012; I didn’t know what to say, but when I opened my mouth – these words “flew out”; “- Jesus fill me with the Holy Spirit, fill me, fill me, fill me! “
And I was instantly answered, in a blink of an eye, the Holy Spirit came into me. My whole body suddenly became totally stiff, my head moved slightly backwards and I started to sound like when a small baby talks; “gagagagagagagaga”. Where have I heard that sound before, I thought?
I remembered when I was very young, I once was alone with my father in his bed, him reading his paper. I played with his hand and fingers, and I spoke exactly like this baby language, that I now was uttering.
This is strange, I thought, what is going on? I can’t control my tongue, I can’t move, besides my eyes.
Right away I also noticed there was no sense of time. I don’t know for how for long I laid there in my bed, without ability to do anything than speaking ” gagagagaga” and without inhaling air or taking a pause. Whether this lasted for 5 minutes or 2 hours I did not know, because I was in a state of eternity.
I couldn’t move my body, it was like frozen. Am I having an epileptic attack, a seisure? No, I feel fine! So what is going on right now I thought, I just prayed to Jesus!
Later I realized I never inhaled or took a single breath while this kept happening.
After a while I felt my throat started to feel sore and dry, and my thought was, whatever is going on, it must be good, but I feel I can’t continue much longer. Right after that thought, as if the Power who took control over my body heard me, as if He knew I couldn’t bear it any longer, then my mouth stopped. As quickly as it had started, as quickly it had stopped.
Being able to move again, I raised myself out of bed, eager to quench the thirst I now had. But I was only able to take a few steps before the strength in my legs left me, making me fall down on both my knees. I found myself in a kneeling down, bowing as in prayer, my forehead touched the floor and I just started to cried my heart and soul out. Bulging, really loud. Like when you are crushed and broken: Closest I can describe it, it’s like when you get the news that a very dear one has died.
The strange thing was that I had no intention of going down on my knees to pray or cry – I was on my way to have a glass of water!
I was not sad so why am I crying so hard? While laying there and crying, initially my main concern was instead focused on my neighbor on the other side of the bedroom wall, what she would think, hearing me crying like that. But I just couldn’t control my loud crying, or stop it.
“Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:9-11).
When the crying stopped, I pulled myself up from the floor. Now I REALLY NEEDED that water to quench my thirst. I entered my kitchen and was about to reach out for a glass of water. Then I noticed something to my to right. A hand came fourth and and an arm. Stretching towards that glass. It was my hand and my arm. And that arm is connected to my body. And to my left there is another arm, connected to my body. And I have two legs. What is GOING ON? Where am I? I looked around. I’m in my kitchen that I know, but why do I look at my body as it was the first time I saw it?!
Apparently something INSIDE ME had changed – but not on the outside.
Another strange thing I noticed right away, was that my mind felt different. More “sharp”. Like there was no disturbance or wandering of thoughts. As if my thinking were more ahead of what I was about to do next.
I decided to walk to my office and now it was lunch time. While walking I couldn’t help to think and wonder what have had happened to me. I was filled with joy, peace and in awe.
Before I entered my office building, where I made my income, I was led to stop. I thought, or better explained, I said to myself; “- If this is how it is to be with God – I take it any day of the week”.
It was like if I made a confession, then and there.
A confession came out from my heart, built on my super natural experience that morning. Like if I traded one thing for another. An old life for a new life. From one ( earthly) god to another Heavenly God. Money or self ambition was not to be my god. My career or income, no. But God, our Almighty Creator were from now on be my Lord as well as my Provider.
When I stepped into my office, the other colleagues are sitting down at a table, eating lunch together. Now followed something remarkable again. What a love I felt towards these people! Where does this love come from, which is inside me, I could hardly had produced such kind of love myself?
I remember I sat down at their table, feeling great love towards them. I felt joy, peace, patience, contentment. Didn’t say a word, it didn’t even cross my mind to join their conversation. And there was no judgement in my mind. You know when you are in a conversation, watching or listening to someone and your own critical mind kicks in. I were in no judgemental mood at all.
Later on, I discovered that I saw them through my Father’s eyes!
To try to work that day was impossible. Because I was in love. My Father’s love had struck me. My computer screen was on, I moved the mouse cursor over the screen but it didn’t make sense to work. This was the happiest, weirdest, most supernatural and amazing day in my life. What a blessing to have felt God’s love during this day, and to see people through His eyes and see them as He sees them, to experience His love for people.
Trying to accomplish something valuable at work that day was useless. Still during that day I didn’t know why these things have happened to me. What was the purpose? Well I knew I had prayed to Jesus, to fill me with the Holy Spirit. And something good had come about. But I didn’t know at this point, or understood, that I had been Born Again from above.
Later on, I had to open the Bible for myself, reading the Scriptures, trying to relate and understand. When I read about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians chapter 5, I could underline all of them. I had not only experienced one or two of them, but all very strong, at the same time (see picture above, inspired by Bror Espegren’s blog). And it was all God’s work, not mine.
From now on I was a new being, in a process of being transformed (sanctified) in Christ like character, through the power of the Holy Spirit, now living in me.
My baptism was just right for me, it was perfect, suited for my needs and for my future, by His Mercy and not by my own works.
From that day, I am now a partaker for eternal life, adopted by Abba our Father. I were on my way to enter the Promised Land. Wow!
An encounter with God is just what it takes. The Kingdom of God is closer at hand than what you might believe or realize.
For the next two years I went deeper into the Bible and I watched many Bible studies on Youtube. I stopped working and have not worked since. I still didn’t go to church or met any other Christians during this period.
In August 2014 a friend told me about a Danish guy who healed people in the streets. This guy was Torben Sondergaard who started the network and movement The Last Reformation. I contacted Torben at TLR and he sent me to Peter Ahlman who in turn told me about a new convert; Martin.
Martin kickstarted me by taking me out to pray for people in Nordstan in Göteborg. He showed me how to pray for people with pain in their bodies. How people with one leg shorter can have their leg stretched out, just by praying in the name of Jesus. I was sceptical at first if this really works. Maybe Martin is fooling them to become Christians? But I witnessed this with my own eyes.
People got healed and set free from pain! Something spiritual was happening.
Being out on the streets, praying for people, was a boost for my faith, as much as my own baptism in Holy Spirit had been. Me and my new friend continued to go out evangelizing, sharing the gospel, and we prayed for a lot of people.
In 2018 I decided to meet up with other like minded Christians at TLR Luke 10 school in Denmark, together with a very special person, Laurna. She is now my precious wife. Together we started a new chapter in our life in 2019 when we got married.
Our heart is now to continue to spread the Good News, to be an encouragement to others, set people free from darkness, baptizing them in water and in the Spirit and training disciples.
My advice: Seek the Kingdom of Jesus first, and all other things you need will be given to you.
If you want to understand this world, or the Bible, or to know if there is a Supreme God – don’t go around searching all over the place! Its a waste of time. Stop!
You wont find the Truth in Islam, or in the Roman Catholic church, or in Hinduism, or in new age meditation or in yoga.
It all starts when you open your door to your heart to Jesus.
And you will not go to Heaven just because you think you are such a good person, better than most others. You can’t work yourself in by performance. Instead it’s a free gift, by grace. We are all sinners, with a fallen nature (compared to God who is holy and perfect). We have all broken the law. The punishment for breaking the law is death. But Jesus paid the price for you, so you can be set free.
Being more good than evil is just not good enough. God has a higher standard, since He alone is HOLY, meaning He is perfect.
You need to repent and turn away from your sins. Ask Jesus into your life, with a humble and repentant heart, and you need to be born again in the Spirit of God. That’s the change of direction you need.
Then let the Holy Spirit lead you into a holy and godly way of life, called sanctification, where you become more Christ-like, sealed by God in His Character and Image. (new page)
PS. You are always welcome to write to me: email@example.com
”Search no more, there is an answer
In this world of doubt and fear
He has come to lift your burdens
You will find your comfort here
Come to Jesus just as you are
Broken and scarred, come to Him
Love and mercy for every broken heart
He is waiting with open arms
Come to Jesus just as you are
For the pain, that’s left you broken
He will give you peace today
Every tear, you’ve cried in sorrow
He will wipe them all away
Come to Jesus just as you are
He’s waiting …
Love is waiting …
Joy is waiting …
Peace is waiting …
Jesus is waiting!